FAA – Frequently Assumed Answers
This article is written for the drones on the internets who struggle to think outside of their little box. So if you’re interested in coming to this blog and attempting to show me the light of reason and rationality then please continue to read.* This article is intended for use by Condellites and those of the 4 Horsemen of the Anti Apocalypse bent.**
Q. What is the purpose of this blog?
A. Apparently, the purpose of this blog is to smear the British Centre for Science Education…Apparently.
Q. Are you a fundamentalist?
A. Yes, I am a fundamentalist. I’m not interested in facts of any kinds when they conflict with Christianity. If you are coming here to convince me of that, don’t bother, I’m not interested. Only God’s will matters.
Q. Do you want to establish a theocracy?
A. Absolutely. After I and my conservative republican buddies have infiltrated the schooling system of both the US and the UK, violated the separation of church and state, convinced your children of the FACT of 6 day creationism 6,000 years ago, we will be leading a campaign to make you subservient to the one and only Word of God, the Holy Bible. This will be implemented via the Wedge Strategy which looks roughly like this:
Intelligent Design in schools > Overthrow of Methodological Naturalism > Introduction of Stork Theory > Leeches and Flat Earthism > Overturned tables and chairs > Theocracy FTW > PROFIT
Q. What is an atheist?
A. An atheist is someone who denies the existence of God. They incessantly plug their ears and shout “Lalalalalala” when a Christian mentions Sin. Basically, there is a God and they know it, they just deny it because they can’t handle the responsibility.
Q. Do you hate atheists?
A. Yes. Why? Because they are blasphemous, venomous sinners who deserve and are looking for God’s judgement. If atheists ruled the UK and the US everyone who is a Christian would be shot without a trial. Everyone would be raped also.
Q. What do you think about the theory of Evolution?
A. Don’t you mean EVILution? Anyone who believes in evolution will burn in Hell in a special place reserved for scientists where they will be tortured with the scientific method every day for eternity.
The world was created at 6am on October 29th 4004BC between brunch and the God’s main meal. Anyone who believes otherwise is opposing the Almighty work of Jesus Christ and must die once theocracy has been established through the Wedge Strategy.
For more information about how Satan is the inventor of evolution watch this video.
Q. What are your theological views?
A. I am a Calvinistic, Dispensationalist, Saballien Gnostic. Anyone who believes otherwise will burn in Hell with the other “broad wayers”. I have a picture of Lucas Labrador in my bedroom which I wash everyday with a sponge.
Q. What do you think about Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris?
A. Perverted sinners who crusade against Christ because they know they are going to Hell and want to take as many young children with them as they can. Their pictures are frequently featured on my “Dartboard of Damnation”. I have hit Harris in the eye 32 times in 6 days thus indicating that God is on my side and his downfall is imminent.
Q. Have you ever questioned your faith?
A. Yes but doing so caused me to doubt so now I recognise that the doubt was a trick of the Devil. No amount of questioning can break the Word of God so I’m not afraid of your questions. There are no inconsistencies or issues with the Bible so bring it on
* If anyone hasn’t quite figured out what this article is about then please research Poe’s Law.
** I am actually hoping for a top 100 position on FSTDT. Fingers crossed to see which knucklehead atheist doesn’t get it.
